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What’s the First Thing You Do When You Struggle?

hands struggling

When we have a problem or question to be answered, most of us try to work it out in our own strength. That's why when you struggle, we need to be looking to God first!

When We Try To Figure It Out On Our Own Power

In chapter three of his book, “Make Fear Bow“, Gary V. Whetstone calls this trusting in the arm of the flesh.

We tell ourselves I've got this or I'll figure it out. We do everything we can think of to solve the problem on our own. Gary says that this produces fear. Then, when we cannot think of anything else to try, we finally pray and ask God for help.

However, whenever we have a problem God wants us to bring it to him first.
We don't have to worry that we will look weak if we trust the Lord with everything. We aren't bothering him if we go to him with every little and big thing. In fact, he wants us to bring things to him.

It pleases God when his children look to him as Daddy.

Part 1 of 5

Trust in the Lord with all your heart (Proverbs 3:5) has a new meaning for me now. It means to trust him with everything, not just when I can't see the answer.

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21 ideas to spend your time together

The best way to handle arguments

Diffuse the situation as fast as possible. Have you noticed that when you go to bed mad at your spouse or anyone really, you have a greater chance at dreaming about them? …and those dreams are never good!

eliminate any doubt or confusion in your mind to avoid times when you struggle. Well it seems that this can be easier said that done but how we handle our thoughts is the key to eliminating doubt and confusion. One of the best ways to handle this is to communicate with your spouse by asking questions so that you really get what they are saying. This alone will eliminate confusion and doubt.

However, I know that we both have times that we need to ask a question(s) about what the other person said to us so that we know what is being said and even the motivation behind why it was said. That's why we always need to talk to your spouse intelligently until a resolution is made.

Never run away from issues; rather excuse yourself to get your mind right and reconvene in a short time. Growing up, this was the method that was taught to Jon as his mother would get uncomfortable with the subject and then either change the subject or leave the area. This is running away from problems and not dealing with the issue at hand. If you intend on making this good, you need to revisit this issue with the person you are talking to originally.

EP 39 – How to Stick Together in Adversity

5 STRATEGIES TO COPE WITH ADVERSITY SURROUNDING YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Sticking Together In Adversity…

Adversity can make or break a couple if they let it.

You've heard stories and seen movies about couples that go through adversity like caring for a sick family member over a long period of time or financial struggles and other seemingly insurmountable odds. The struggle was too much and they split up. Essentially, they were not able to stick together in adversity.

We?ve also heard opposite stories of couples banding together and becoming stronger as they weather the storm together.

Episode 39 – SHOW NOTES

What is the difference? What is their secret?

  • Relationship with God – When we rely on God, we don't have to shoulder the burden alone and feel the intense weight of it. It is important that we look to the One greater than ourselves.
  • Look outward – When we go through struggle it's tempting to look inward and think about how difficult times are and what we don't have. In those times, we need to remember to look outward and see that others are going through a hard time, too. God will often ask us to help someone else when we are going through something difficult because he knows there is healing in it for us.
  • Treat each other with kindness – Pain and discomfort often bring out the worst in our attitudes. It's during times like this that we need to take a step back and have more patience with our loved ones, particularly or partners. It can be tempting to lash out with our words in a space that feels safe, but we need to remember that our significant other is most likely hurting as well and treat them with patience and kindness.
  • Communication – We need to talk with our partners regularly to maintain an understanding of what we are feeling and what we need. Reach out and ask for help when necessary. Communication helps squelch added struggles that arise from lack of talking to each other.
  • Equally yoked – Shoulder the burdens of the struggle together. Better yet, throw the burden on God?s shoulders and follow him together with your partner. God has the perfect plan for your life.

Final Thoughts

If you're going to stick together through adversity in your relationship or marriage, you will need to be following these tips -especially when it comes to being equally yoked.

What are some other strategies you have used that have helped you and your partner stick together during a struggle? Please leave a note in the comments below. Your message could help another couple in need.

Remember to download our video series From Rocky to Rock Steady.

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