Jon & Jess, Author at

3 Tips to Make Your Relationship Strong

Starting a relationship these days seems to be the expertise for basically every person on the planet. The tricky stuff happens when you go past the “hi” and “bye” of any relationship. In this post, we will discuss different tips to make your relationship strong and last for the long haul.

I remember thinking when I was a young school teen, that it was almost a certainty to have a relationship that would only last a couple of weeks and perhaps a month or two if I was “lucky”. It seemed almost pointless to even try to get into a relationship that was meaningful.

What Does The Bible Have To Say?

Getting into a relationship as a teenager is really not the top priority nor should it be. In fact, it probably is a smart move to stay single for as long as it takes to get yourself set up financially and in a career. In 1 Corinthians 7:7-11 Paul writes that being single is great if you can handle being celibate.

Here's what he writes (Message translation)

⁷Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.

^8-9I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can’t manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single.

^10-11And if you are married, stay married. This is the Master’s command, not mine. If a wife should leave her husband, she must either remain single or else come back and make things right with him. And a husband has no right to get rid of his wife.

Now don't go thinking that its an all or nothing type of activity. I know plenty of people that can actively date a person but in fun as if they are friends. This is healthy dating, to begin within the early stages of life. The first and foremost way to make your relationship strong and last is to first become the best of friends.

So many couples enter into a relationship thinking it's just an attraction and everything else will sort of magically work themselves out.

Good for you if this is exactly how it turned out for you. However, for most this is typically how the divorce or break up started.

Creating A Strong Foundation

When you have a good foundation, you've worked on making yourself the best version of yourself that you can. Then and only then are you ready to dive into a relationship as a new adult. Many (myself included) jump into a relationship thinking it will just work and if it doesn't then I move on to the next relationship…

until that one doesn't work.

At this point, you have to start thinking what is the common denominator.

It's YOU!

Take a moment and enter your email address and we will send you a video that will underline some of the things needed in order to create a relationship which you know is there but seemed to have lost in the creation of live together.

1 – Communication is key to make your relationship strong

If your relationship is not working well for you right now, perhaps the communication is not what it should be in order to have that amazing relationship.

We know that if communication is lacking there are tons of thoughts that go right through our mind condemning your partner of several acts that may or may not be true. So to communicate, no matter what the consequences are is a first step to healing any relationship.

2 – Honesty isn't just the high road

How many times have you been lied to and literally a new section of your emotional wall goes up faster than you can blink?

The same isn't true when telling the truth but that's because you must rebuild the trust with anyone you have lied to. The best policy is to never lie to anyone.

Honesty is a cornerstone to success and great relationships. After all, trust is something all people want from you, not just certain people. Taking these Tips to Make Your Relationship Strong will definitely make you a relationship winner. An example to those who want to have a successful relationship

3 – Play Time to ease the stress in any situation

You've heard the saying that goes, “those that play together stay together“.

Well this is definitely part of the equation but you must add communication and trust to this to make this saying truly come to life.

I remember having a relationship that I rather enjoyed. I would call to hang out and we'd go have fun doing what we both loved. Billiards. It was times like this that would make a relationship strong. Talking, having fun together and getting to know each other through those fun times.

It was a relationship that, looking back now, was based on desire and lust. There was friendship but nothing I could hang my hat on for an extended period of time. It was that reason that I decided to eventually cut ties with her. Though she was very fun and nice to hang around, there wasn't a mutual respect that I felt was needed to take the relationship to the next level.

So, yes, we played together but through the lack of trust, and even lack of communication this relationship didn't work out. Some people would say that this relationship was not meant to be. Sure, that may be exactly it. But what if you're already in a relationship that is now a marriage? There was a covenant made to be with this person until death do us part. Now the effort is to make your relationship strong!

Now if you're loving this content, take a moment and sign up for our “From Rocky to Rock Steady” course that will educate you on how to grow your relationship into that explosive love we all desire on a daily basis.

What’s the First Thing You Do When You Struggle?

When we have a problem or question to be answered, most of us try to work it out in our own strength. That's why when you struggle, we need to be looking to God first!

When We Try To Figure It Out On Our Own Power

In chapter three of his book, “Make Fear Bow“, Gary V. Whetstone calls this trusting in the arm of the flesh.

We tell ourselves I've got this or I'll figure it out. We do everything we can think of to solve the problem on our own. Gary says that this produces fear. Then, when we cannot think of anything else to try, we finally pray and ask God for help.

However, whenever we have a problem God wants us to bring it to him first.
We don't have to worry that we will look weak if we trust the Lord with everything. We aren't bothering him if we go to him with every little and big thing. In fact, he wants us to bring things to him.

It pleases God when his children look to him as Daddy.

Part 1 of 5

Trust in the Lord with all your heart (Proverbs 3:5) has a new meaning for me now. It means to trust him with everything, not just when I can't see the answer.

Download our eBook which gives you …

21 ideas to spend your time together

The best way to handle arguments

Diffuse the situation as fast as possible. Have you noticed that when you go to bed mad at your spouse or anyone really, you have a greater chance at dreaming about them? …and those dreams are never good!

eliminate any doubt or confusion in your mind to avoid times when you struggle. Well it seems that this can be easier said that done but how we handle our thoughts is the key to eliminating doubt and confusion. One of the best ways to handle this is to communicate with your spouse by asking questions so that you really get what they are saying. This alone will eliminate confusion and doubt.

However, I know that we both have times that we need to ask a question(s) about what the other person said to us so that we know what is being said and even the motivation behind why it was said. That's why we always need to talk to your spouse intelligently until a resolution is made.

Never run away from issues; rather excuse yourself to get your mind right and reconvene in a short time. Growing up, this was the method that was taught to Jon as his mother would get uncomfortable with the subject and then either change the subject or leave the area. This is running away from problems and not dealing with the issue at hand. If you intend on making this good, you need to revisit this issue with the person you are talking to originally.

How To Survive Living With Your Spouse 24 hours a Day

Well, it's time to tackle the elephant in the room. We have been living in the same house now for months on end. The issue here is in a world where everyone went to work for 8+ hours a day, we could get some space from our spouse and any kids that may be in the house as well.

The dilemma that we now face is that there is no “escape” to work for many left at home. We literally have nowhere to run when it comes to being under the same roof. This probably explains why there are so many suicides resulting from living in “lock down” and not having an outlet.

So, we want to be here to help you get along with your spouse in any situation. Here are 7 solutions to help you manage and flourish under this lock down.

Solutions to help you thrive at home in any situation

Pray or Meditate For Clarity

Growing up it's always been just a conversation between myself and God. Then as I got older I started placing more hurdles in front of that conversation. It's been not too long ago that I realized I was doing this and decided to KISS (Keep It Simple Silly). Just conversate with God. He hears you because he is omnipresent and Omniscient.

He's got you as Jess would tell me.

There's another thing that really makes me feel good knowing this fact and it may do the same for you as well. This little story goes like this…

When we are being tossed about by the waves of the ocean (life) it's really tough to get your thoughts straight and then know what to do next. However, if you learn to sink down into meditation and “Be still, and know that I am God”. Your entire being is relaxed because of the covering that God gives you when you're in Him — AND — remember you're sinking down to the depths of the ocean where the waves can not touch you.

Take time to engage with each other outside the home

This one seems a bit against the grain but when you do take the time to enjoy each others company it makes the times that you're at each other's throats less and less. This is all about growing your relationship and love for one another.

When you have a good prayer / meditation life, this action will be MUCH easier. This is especially true if you're already at each others wits end. Take time to relax, find out what you can do to make things more enjoyable for both yourself and your spouse.

Do The Work In Order To Survive

What is meant by “the work”? what it simply means is that you are in a relationship. The relationship is a mirror so that you can see where you need to improve personally. If you're oblivious to these “hints” that your relationship is giving you then there is no improvement and thus, no happy life.

For more about doing the work, download our free PDF that will guide you in doing the work.

Schedule Date Night

Whether you're inside or out and about. Schedule time to go out and have a date night/day with your loved one. This might be one of the best things you can do to keep that relationship going and on target for the long lasting love you so desire. You may be thinking that this is much like #2 in this list but it's going that extra step that will let her know that you are thinking about her and want to go that extra step to schedule time with her.

man in black long sleeve shirt sitting on chair - Living with your spouse — Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Start up a game night

if you have kids and are routinely frustrated because all they want to do is have screen time. Take a night of the week where you can have the family together and play games. It can be any sort of game as long as the family is involved and having fun.

Start Living With Your Spouse Outside Your Home by Taking a Road Trip

We are all in a situation now that we know the “boundaries” and that means we can travel. Travel can bring a new light on our life as well as a refreshing of your thoughts. So take a road trip, an airplane trip. Whatever fancies your liking. Do it.

Have you ever wondered what happens on trips? Sure there's the sight seeing and the fun, but it's a chance to talk in a different surrounding where you're both having fun. So this is basically a setup to have fun while talking and building your relationship at the same time. This would be a little strategy to get out of the house and really start living with your spouse outside of the home.

adventure altitude asphalt climb - Living with your spouse — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Depending on where you live in the world, there's plenty of places to take a weekend trip. Here in the Pacific Northwest, there are some great ideas and places to visit. All you have to do really is do a quick search on the internet for your area. It's amazing how you tend to forget or not know about these places until they are in front of your face on your screen.

Befriend your neighbor(s)

Our neighbors seem to be the last place we look to make friends. If you find yourself calling your neighbors by names that weren't given to them at birth, then you need to make it a priority to reach out and get to know your to be friends. When we are able to united as a community, you will be better off living with your spouse as a result of your new found friendships.

smiling asian traveler with dog resting on urban walkway - Living with your spouse — Photo by Tr?n Long on Pexels.com

DOWNLOAD: 7 Simple Secrets to Sustaining A Long, Lasting, Loving Relationship

Your Ready For Anything Now

Now, if you have done all of these 7 simple yet very effective tasks to survive living with your spouse 24 hours a day, then I congratulate you! Seriously. Also, if you have done them, comment below and let us know your experience(s) with each item.

We know that living with your spouse 24 hours a day can be tough but it can be done and it can be a way to really grow. Just know that it's all about giving yourself some variety in life that really helps you grow.

Have you downloaded our free PDF yet? If not, go ahead and do that now by clicking the button above.

Bonus Strategy For Living With Your Spouse 24/7

Lastly, as an added bonus. The best thing to do which will help you in living with your spouse is to talk to each other. Really communicate to understand rather than just to speak words at each other. My wife and I are always asking, “did you mean” so that we know how things are meant instead of assuming and getting our feelers hurt.

How To Have A Joyful And Fulfilling Relationship

Many relationships start off with attraction in some way. Whether you're attracted to personality or physical aspects, it all starts there. That's when knowledge stops for most people about having a joyful and fulfilling relationship.

There must be some know-how that will guide you to that joyful relationship because if there isn't any sort of guide, you're not going to be very fulfilled in your relationship.

Show Notes

How to have a joyful and fulfilling relationship.

Episode 41 is a must listen if you haven't already.

The first step to having a healthy relationship is being a united front with your partner. This is the one strategy you can use to help safeguard your relationship while you work on everything else.

Using this strategy or not can make or break your relationship. We have seen relationships flourish when they implement this strategy. Unfortunately, we have also seen relationships end because they didn?t commit to being a united front together.

It is something most of us didn?t grow up having modeled for us by our parents. Becoming a united front is possible to learn and to get good at. Just like anything in life, it just takes a bit of time and practice to become an everyday part of your relationship.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.? Part of becoming one flesh is becoming a united front with your significant other.
Genesis 2:24 (NKJV)

DOWNLOAD “7 SIMPLE SECRETS” EBOOK

What does being a united front look like?

1. It is a commitment to keeping you, your significant other, and God in the center of your relationship, no one else gets to be in that sacred place.

2. It looks like communicating and agreeing on topics that are important to your relationship, including boundaries.

3. It works best when someone can ask you or your significant other a question and they get the same answer with the same boundary.

For more information about being a united front with your partner download our free eBook.

EP 41 – How Memories Can Make or Break a Relationship

Making New Memories

In this podcast, Jon and Jess explore the topic of making new memories.

Jon shares how his second wife passed away from cancer. Through this painful tragedy, Jon focused on helping others and healing.

One thing Jon did on his path to emotional healing was to make new memories. The pain from the past could have easily crept into his life and made a permanent home which would either make or break relationship with God, a future mate, or any family and friends. So, Jon continued to create new memories when he met Jess.

Jon and Jess discuss the freedom of making new memories brings. Instead of being boxed in by fear and grief, throughout their relationship, he invited Jess to go to locations with him where he and his previous wife went.

Here are a few things to know about making new memories. Work this into your life naturally. When you find you are about to make a new memory, notice that and state out loud that you are making a new memory with your partner or yourself. The more you do this, the more you create a mindset of freedom and healing.

God doesn't erase our memories. He heals the pain and can make the painful memories seem dim and distant. He wants us to keep moving forward in faith with his help. Revelation 21:5 suggests this. Again, keep making more memories and begin to stop reflecting on the past. This is where fear comes in when we look at the past. Focusing on the past can definitely put a strain on a relationship. When we are interacting with each other focus on the now. This strategy alone will help you be more successful in relationship when we are faced with a make or break relationship moment.

With God's help, we can believe that the best is yet to come. We can look forward to the future when we choose to stay on the path God has prepared for us. Jon references

Psalm 55:22 (NKJV), "Cast your burden on the Lord, and he shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved." Click To Tweet

When you have listened to this podcast, check out our eBook to read more about our stories and path to emotional healing.

DOWNLOAD “7 Secrets…” EBOOK HERE

3 Must Have Ingredients In The Relationship Recipe

How to Put Together The Relationship Recipe

In today's post, we are discussing the 3 must have ingredients in the relationship recipe.

Ingredient #1 – Communication

The First ingredient is communication. We feel like it's a topic that gets pushed under the rug so often but true communication is rewarding and when the communication is complete, it leaves you with a feeling of love when done correctly.

There are some keys to communication that make a huge difference. As stated by the Huffington Post, never arguing is not something to brag about. If you never argue, you have to ask yourself if you are truly growing in your relationship. If you're not growing then your relationship is going in the opposite direction and needs to have intervention to get it back to a growing state.

Ingredient #2 – Boundaries

We mentioned this ingredient of boundaries in the video above but there is so much more to it than what we spoke about.

The fact that boundaries are not that well known has really given us the opportunity to educate people about them and how they can solve so many relationship issues. There are some must have ingredients that even the wealthy top 1% of the population need to follow. Boundaries is probably the most abused ingredient.

Ingredient #3 – Love

Just like in our video, we spoke about how LOVE is God and God is Love. They are one and the same. So when we add God into the relationship we are ultimately adding the greatest ingredient of all to our relationship.

As relationships go, we tend to adjust to what is presented to our immediate surroundings. This is a good thing and a bad thing.

If we are in the present moment, we are in the protection of God. But, when we have negative feelings or speak negativity, we are taking the love that God is out of our situation – leaving an open doorway for the enemy to attack our relationship.

Baking Instructions

As we presented this information to you as a recipe, we would like you to be the chef and put it all together in your relationship.

The best way to do this is to have a plan and a goal. Know what you want to do and go after it. Make one goal this week to accomplish. Focus on it and know in your heart that it's complete.

For more strategies about building a relationship that shows explosive love, download our ebook, “7 Simple Secrets…”

Healthy Marriage Relationship – Are They A Thing Of The Past?!

When we are children, we dream of the day we can start our own family, to live the storybook dream of a marriage with 2.5 kids, a white picket fenced home, in suburbia. Today, that dream has diminished and has almost been stolen from us. To be in a healthy marriage relationship with even one child and still being happy is a miracle to see in today?s society.

The answer to having a marriage that is both healthy and grows is not a short answer.? To be quite honest, that answer is very elusive for most.? Now, I have some basic tips that could guide you in having a healthy marriage.

The best way that I know is to find yourself a church and involve yourself with the people there. Share stories, and engage yourself with them.
Along the same lines as above. Trust God to help you in times of trouble in your marriage. He is faithful and will help you because HE LOVES YOU!
If your marriage is on the rocky side of things, it?s always good to have friends to call or a support group to be a part of in order to bounce things off of them.
Arguing is best done in a discussion type manner where people actually listen to each other. Much too often, a disagreement can turn into a shouting match of wills. This always leads to more resentment of the other person.
NEVER go to bed angry with your spouse.

Are You Ready For A Healthy Marriage Relationship?

There are some basic tips on how to have a healthy marriage relationship and not to end up in the divorce courts. We are human and before you know it, we are arguing into the night and then you wake up mad. but do this the best you can and you will avoid many health issues that stem from stress, such as Cancer.

There are plenty of?other resources on relationships?that you can follow, and if you?re looking for someone to enter into a marriage, you should consider some premarital counseling.? Counseling will help you in focusing both of your goals and that will give you longevity in your marriage.? After all, we all want a LIFELONG, healthy marriage relationship!

One thing that I always am looking for in a relationship is harmony in our personalities.? Marriage is a decision that requires much thought. Beyond the thought is where things tend to fall off. Relationships need to have action that has been carefully thought through so that it will benefit the relationship rather than be a detriment.

The last part of this equation is this. It doesn't matter if you get those flowers for your wife or that you get that new tool chest for your hubby. In fact, it really doesn't matter if you are poor or rich.

The biggest reason for divorce is that true attention to each other?is lacking. Click To Tweet

We believe that relationships are the main reason we are here. Having a healthy marriage relationship is the pinnacle of all relationships. So it's time to learn how to get this amazing, explosive love into your home.

We have a PDF that you can download and get started with learning the craft of growing your relationship.

7 Simple Secrets eBook

This is definitely the place we recommend you start off. It's the basis of a relationship that we want to build off of in your knowledge.